ice cream man.

one of my earliest memories is of a dream i had when i was little. maybe around 4 or 5 years old.  this dream has pretty much been my mind’s most comfortable and safe place to go anytime i’m scared or uncertain, or even if I just want to feel really warm.  it quite often brings me to tears because it is probably one of my most precious possessions. i have never thought of a dream as a possession until this moment, but i think it is valid.  it probably means nothing to anyone else, but it’s very much a part of me. 

 

in my dream, i was at the old baseball field in my hometown, where i used to spend a lot of time watching my brothers play little league.  i was with tons of kids playing around outside the fence by home plate like we always did during games, and lo and behold, jesus walked up to the field.  oh, you know, the norm. within seconds, all of the kids realized who he was and rushed up to him stampede-style. as he sat down right behind home plate, two single file lines of kids formed, one from his right and one from his left. well, i guess i was a little slow to catch on to what the excitement was about, so i ended up at the very back of the line on his left.  i remember feeling so crushed and jealous of the little brats sitting right next to him and just wondering how i’d ever get his attention with so many kids in between us.  it ends up i didn’t have to do a single thing, though, because the ice cream man came to my rescue. yep, the ice cream man. he drove by the field, music blaring, enticing those kids like sirens to his frosty treats, and all of a sudden they were all gone. every last kid. it was just jesus and me, and i was just tickled to death.  i scooted from what felt like miles away across the empty space between us. i scooted right up to his side and snuggled him, thinking about how dumb those kids were for leaving jesus for some stupid ice cream.

 

don’t get me wrong. i love ice cream. i ate some tonight, actually. but in light of him, ice cream was just not appealing in the least.

 

of course, when i was little, i didn’t analyze the dream so much.  but now, since i remember it so vividly, i figure there’s a reason why it was significant enough to remember. it sounds like a silly little kid dream in ways, but to me, the simple principles it portrays are still teaching me and reminding me of who i was created to be.  that dream is just absolute, gut-feeling assurance that he has called me out from early on and desires my heart to adore the eternal. not because i did one single thing to be good enough to sit next to him…simply because by his mercy and his choosing, i’m his.

 

i need to remind myself to stop chasing ice cream trucks and remember that the rest found by his side satisfies every fiber of my being. afterall, it’s the very place i was created to sit.