flesh is grass.

alright. i really need to think of more excuses to write. i think i wait for moments where i have such a huge thought in my head that i can’t be relieved until i write it somewhere..but it looks like those don’t come frequently enough! i miss out on writing down the smaller ‘aha!’s my brain experiences frequently that equally contribute to my life. also, maybe some that aren’t so much ‘aha’ as they are ‘haha’…to my head anyway. so…with that said. maybe i’ll start writing more than never.

 i think the people that live above me are inventors. or i like to imagine that they are. i constantly hear the bumping and banging of their experiments and the machines they have going up there. i mean, they really never stop. i really have to imagine that so i don’t go crazy at 4 in the morning when they’re doing their thing, and doing it with gusto for all to hear. if i pretend that they’re inventors, i feel a twinge of guilt when i bang (sweetly) on the ceiling, praying i haven’t interrupted the invention of wonka-vision in real life or something important like that. oh, and also, i exaggerate.

ok, new subject. the fickle weather of texas has got my mind wheels turning lately. the weather’s been drastically different pretty much every day here lately. and we never fail to make comments like, “wish that weather’d make up its mind!” or “geez! just yesterday it was sunny! how could it be rainy one stinkin’ day later!?!” so i started to thinking about how i hardly ever think about the fact that the weather going on above my head developed somewhere, moved over my head, and is on its way somewhere else. all i think about is that it’s over my head and whether or not i approve of its precipitation or lack thereof. as if the sky that’s over my head is the only sky that exists and its weather has no origin or deeper purpose outside of that moment.  it’s kinda like how babies view the world. all that exists to them is right in front of their eyes. if you aren’t mom or dad, you don’t exist to them unless you’re directly in their vision.

 i don’t know that anyone will follow that but me, but that’s okay. i just think that how i/maybe we? see weather is how we view so many other aspects of life. other people, for example. ever pass by someone and cheerfully, maybe excitedly greet them, only to get a much less enthusiastic response? and then walk off thinking, “well geez! what’s their problem? what did i do wrong? they must not really like me all that much.” i know that’s usually my first reaction. all i saw was about 3 seconds of that person’s day and maybe week, and i would assume that the reason for their actions is somehow ME? not even considering the fact that their lives actually continue when they aren’t in my direct line of vision and maybe something horrible happened that day and so seeing me isn’t the focus or the highlight of their day most likely?? 

i don’t usually have all of those thoughts consciously, but it seems that they must exist if i get offended by someone else’s actions in a moment in time, a moment that i have such limited knowledge of and know only one, biased perspective - my own. it’s just selfishness is all. another way we have this all-that-exists-is-directly-in-front-of-me-and-maybe-my-peripheral view of the world is in the situations God allows us to enter into. good or bad. we rarely consider that maybe it is really just a part of something in development and is going to turn into something else eventually.  all we see is the sun or the rain above our head, and go crazy with an in-the-moment emotion. i’m not saying it’s bad to be excited and bask in a happy and seemingly perfect day. maybe i am just talking about the rainy days. but there is probably something to knowing that a really good day is also not going to last forever, and therefore, we should be all the more thankful for it.

so i guess all i’m saying is that i want to stop making selfish assumptions. about the weather, people, situations - everything. i want to consider that the world is not constantly thinking about me and what i do. i want to know that the seasons God brings me through are for development and part of a larger process of making me like him. i also want to know that all flesh is grass, and my grassy days will end.

His glory is far more important than the sun or the rain over my head.